Guacamole

Mexican is one of my all-time favorite comfort foods. (Odd considering I’m not even remotely Mexican or of any kind of Spanish descent that I know of, being half Italian and half French Canadian). And even though it is completely inauthentic, Taco Bell has been known to satisfy a Mexican craving on rare occasions. But when I’m not looking for the fast and easy way to tame the beasts that are my tastebuds, I love (and I mean LOVE) to make guacamole and margaritas! MMM!

Now recently, I went to this popular restaurant in my neck of the woods that gets a lot of great press because of their guacamole. Particularly because they make it fresh for your table should you choose to order it. Once you’re seated at your table in this restaurant that I haven’t named but will now (Mezcal), you’re greeted by the sight of a molcajete (the Mexican mortar and pestle that originated long before the Mexicans) and three gorgeous Hass avocados.

Of course, the thing about avocados is that, when left at room temp, they ripen like most produce. I tested our table’s avocado selection (I’m something of an aficionado of avocado ripeness) by picking it up and giving it a light press with my thumb. An avocado that isn’t quite ripe enough will not give when you press it but if it’s overly ripe it will have little to no resistance. I like avocados that are right in the middle, there’s a slight resistance but your thumb can definitely feel the avocado give a little. When avocados are somewhere in the middle of that ripeness scale, you’re going to get chunky guacamole but with a great balance of creaminess. When it’s a softer avocado, you’re going to get very smooth and creamy guacamole, its flavor, I think, is a little milder.

To get to the point, our table’s avocados were too soft in my opinion, yielding an overpriced molcajete of guacamole that was lacking in flavor. (We ordered the House guacamole which was more traditional, perhaps the other two recipes are more flavorful but it really all starts with the avocado for me).

I make awesome guacamole. Really, I take a great deal of pride in my guac (hahaha). I have been known to eat it with a spoon because I love it that much.

Now here’s what you’ll need:

2 avocados (test for medium ripeness!)

1 lime (for juice AND zest)

Cilantro

1 jalapeno

1 vine ripe tomato or 3 small romas

Cumin

Ancho chili powder

Chipotle powder

Cayenne

Garlic powder

Onion powder

Salt and pepper

2 qt freezer bag (yes, a freezer bag)

You may have noticed that there’s quite a few spicy ingredients in my guacamole, my family enjoys the kick from the jalapeno and the spices contrasting with the cool avocado flavor. You can adjust to your flavor profile of choice. Note: If you don’t like cilantro, I don’t recommend making this purely because I can’t imagine my recipe without it but I have seen Italian flat leaf parsley substituted for cilantro. It won’t taste the same at all but I know there are plenty of people who hate this particular herb.

How to make Renée’s Guacamole

Open your freezer bag and prop it so it stands on its own. You will be using the bag in place of a bowl. This makes the mixing more fun AND prevents oxidation which will turn your avocados brown.

Halve and pit your avocados. (Please be careful while doing so. I had a nasty slip of the knife that damaged my finger – the tip has no feeling – while pitting an avocado over the summer). Zest your limes. Be sure to only remove the green, you don’t want the white pithy part because it is NOT tasty. Green = YUM but White = YUCK.

Scoop the avocados out of their shells, making sure that any brown sections aren’t included. Put avocados and zest in the bag and immediately cut your lime in half and squeeze one half’s worth of juice over the avocados for flavor and to slow oxidation.

Cut and seed your tomato(es). I like to dice mine into small pieces because my sister doesn’t care for tomatoes but if they’re small enough she doesn’t notice. Then into the bag.

Cut your jalapeno in half lengthwise after removing the top then remove the vein and seeds. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR EYES. The oils from the capsicum will BURN. Now, depending on how spicy you want your guacamole, determine how much of the jalapeno you’re going to use and then finely dice and toss into the bag. I use a small jalapeno and usually the whole thing (minus the seeds and vein of course).

Tear about a handful of cilantro leaves from the bunch and give them a medium to rough chop and then into the bag.

Once again, depending on your flavor profile, add the cumin, ancho chili powder, chipotle powder, and cayenne. I use a sprinkling of each. It’s different every time.

Sprinkle the onion powder and garlic powder into the bag as well. I use the powders for flavor distribution (and because raw garlic is awful and my sister doesn’t care for chunks of onion).

Salt and pepper to taste.

Now zip up your bag and make sure you get as much of the air out as possible. You get to mush the avocado with your hands! Make sure you mush and mix well for maximum flavor distribution. Release any extra air you can as you go. I like to leave mine a little chunky but you can make it as smooth as you want.

Put in the fridge to let the flavors “marry” or serve immediately with fresh lime squeezed on top and tortilla chips. To serve, snip a corner off of the bag and squeeze out into a bowl if you’re expecting it all to get eaten. Storing it in the fridge without cutting the bag will keep it green longer.